The Saving Sage

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“Babe, Let’s Talk About Money”: Having the Tough Financial Talk Before Before Tying the Knot

Marriage is a beautiful union built on love, trust, and shared dreams—but let’s be real: money plays a big role too. Financial compatibility doesn’t mean earning the same amount or having identical money habits, but it does mean being able to talk honestly and plan together.

Before you say “I do,” it’s essential to say “let’s talk”—especially when it comes to your finances. Here’s a guide to the points every couple should cover before walking down the aisle.

1. Understand Each Other’s Financial Background

Start with the basics: what’s your full financial picture?

  • Income – What do you both make, and how steady is your income?
  • Debt – Be upfront about student loans, credit cards, personal loans, or car payments.
  • Savings – Do you have an emergency fund? Retirement savings? Investments?
  • Credit Score – You don’t need to obsess over numbers, but knowing each other’s credit scores can help when planning for big purchases like a home.

Transparency here sets the tone for financial honesty going forward.

2. Discuss Money Mindsets and Spending Habits

Money habits aren’t just about math—they’re shaped by values, upbringing, and personal experiences.

  • Are you a spender or a saver?
  • How do you feel about budgeting, splurges, or luxury purchases?
  • Did your family talk openly about money growing up?

Understanding your partner’s money mindset can help avoid future misunderstandings and foster empathy.

3. Set Joint Financial Goals

What are you working toward—together?

  • Short-term goals might include paying off debt, planning a honeymoon, or saving for a car.
  • Long-term goals could be buying a home, starting a family, or retiring early.

It’s also okay to have individual goals (like starting a business or going back to school). Talk about how you’ll support each other’s dreams while building a shared future.

4. Create a Plan for Managing Joint Finances

Money management is a team effort—but every team needs a game plan.

  • Will you combine your finances completely, keep them separate, or do a mix?
  • How will you handle monthly bills, rent or mortgage, groceries, and subscriptions?
  • Who will track spending and manage the budget—or will you use an app to share the load?

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. The key is finding what works for both of you.

5. Talk About Debt Repayment Plans

If one or both of you have debt, decide how you’ll tackle it together.

  • Will you keep your debts separate or pay them off as a team?
  • What’s the monthly repayment plan?
  • How will debt impact your shared goals?

Debt doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker—but ignoring it can become one.

6. Establish a Budget and Emergency Fund

A realistic budget is your foundation for financial peace.

  • What are your fixed costs (rent, insurance, utilities)?
  • How much will you save each month?
  • Are you building (or growing) an emergency fund?

Experts often suggest setting aside 3–6 months of expenses in case of job loss, illness, or unexpected costs. It’s your safety net—and building it together strengthens your team.

7. Discuss Insurance and Estate Planning

This one might feel “too grown-up,” but it matters—especially when you’re building a future together.

  • Do you both have health insurance?
  • Should you get life insurance—especially if you’re planning to have kids or buy a home?
  • Have you named each other as beneficiaries on retirement accounts?
  • Consider basic estate planning: a will, power of attorney, and health directives.

It’s not about preparing for the worst. It’s about protecting each other.

8. Be Honest About Financial Dealbreakers

Every couple has boundaries. What are yours?

  • Are there money behaviors you can’t accept (e.g., hiding purchases or gambling)?
  • How will you resolve disagreements about money?
  • Will you schedule regular money check-ins (aka “money dates”) to stay on the same page?

Talking about finances isn’t a one-time conversation. It’s an ongoing part of your partnership.

Sage Summary

Having the financial talk before marriage doesn’t kill the romance—it builds trust, clarity, and teamwork. You don’t have to have everything figured out, but being open, honest, and willing to plan together is key.

Think of this conversation as a gift to your future selves—one that helps you start your married life with confidence, not confusion.

So before you tie the knot, take the time to talk. Your relationship (and bank account) will thank you.

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